Mindset: “Valuing Yourself” by Rich Waterman

The subject of this article is VALUING YOURSELF.

 This follows on from Alan Goswell’s business article on “The Destructive Power Of Discounting”.

Some of the biggest challenges I have had when coaching was when I gave friends coaching for free. I often found it hard to keep them accountable on agreed actions from coaching sessions. They would come up with stories and excuses as to why they haven’t followed through on their commitments. I would advise you all to be very careful about what you give for free. Free can convey the message that your product or service is worth nothing.

Free makes sense when you give clients a sample of what you can do and to build trust with a potential client – this article would be an example of that. We use this blog to illustrate examples of the type of work we do with clients, but there is then an opportunity to  join the “Gym Of Greatness” programme as a paying client if that is the best outcome for you!

Free or excessively cheap on an ongoing basis doesn’t encourage clients to invest themselves in the process. The client probably won’t get the outcome they want because they are not fully invested  – they are not committed. I see a lot of people trying to succeed in business and they make the mistake of immediately discounting their value to attract customers. They offer their services either too cheaply or for free. I rarely choose the cheapest option when buying goods or services. I look for what will effectively solve my problem. So isn’t it better to focus on delivering huge value to your clients and they will then pay you to solve their problems for them? People don’t always want cheap. People want a solution.

If you are a business owner and don’t value yourself properly, then you won’t charge what you are worth. Then on an unconscious level you won’t be fully invested in what you are doing, because part of you will resent working for that discounted amount of money. People will pick up on this energy (or lack of) and you will end up with less clients paying you rubbish money and this isn’t a great outcome! PLUS the clients probably won’t get what they want either! BUT most people will then assume that the problem is that they are charging too much and will discount further and actually make the problem worse.

So if you don’t value what you do properly. You are sabotaging not only yourself but also the outcome for your client. Know what you are worth!

Valuing yourself can show up in many situations. Let me tell you a positive story about why valuing yourself is important:

A friend of mine was stressed out with her job. She was hugely successful and had been rapidly promoted within her company. She was a star performer and highly valued. But she was very unhappy and totally burned out!


I spoke to her on the phone and asked her what was going on. Even though she was well thought of and well paid, she felt totally overwhelmed. The demands of her new role were huge (and in my opinion excessive) and she couldn’t see a way that she could keep everyone happy – her boss, her team and her family. She literally was running herself into the ground trying to please everyone. Plus the environment was quite bitchy so she felt her success was being sabotaged. Her desire to deliver top value was being undermined.

I told her that I believed that there were a few issues going on here:

First of all she was trying to solve the problem by herself and in reality trying to solve an unsolvable problem. She needed to be honest with the parties involved about what was going on and that the current situation was literally making her ill. In times of crisis I often see people withdraw into themselves and this rarely solves the problem. You are relying on yourself when you are not in an emotional state to be at your best. Your close friends will want to help you, so value yourself and your friendship enough to call the ones that will make a difference. That is what my friend did and I was able to shed a different light on the situation.

What are you worth? Is a job more important than your health? Is a job worth getting ill over? Is a job more important than your family?

You need to truly value yourself. Without valuing yourself you will always be looking for short-term fixes, a sticking plaster over the cracks. You will never find a long-term solution without valuing yourself.

In the case of my friend, the job specification was clearly not realistic and unfortunately it seemed that no one in the organisation in a similar role was prepared to tell senior management how it really was. So there were a lot of unhappy people trying their best to achieve the impossible. A conspiracy of silence.

There is a happy ending to this story. My friend realised that she was an incredibly talented individual who could get any job that she wanted, so that if she wanted to continue in that job then she should just have to be honest with her boss about the situation. If the boss didn’t like the feedback or wasn’t prepared to change the role, then so be it; she could find another role. She also realised that the most important thing was her family, that she was a fantastic mum and that no job was worth getting ill over. From this place of valuing herself, the future became a lot clearer.

Then magic happened! She took some time off to recuperate and suddenly she had two other job offers! People were falling over themselves to employ her. The universe was ready to reward her as soon as it knew what she wanted! Now she has a new role and a massive pay rise with a company who are truly aligned to her values. They were desperate to employ her because she turned up at interview and was simply herself. She valued herself enough just to be her. What’s great is that by being herself, the company knows exactly what they are getting in the future and she knows that she will love the job because the company just want her to be herself. Win/Win!

So value yourself. Understand how important you are to those around you. Would those people want you to get ill over a problem that you are not sharing? I think not.

Value yourself, know what you are worth – magic happens!

Thank you for reading.

Rich Waterman